A Decision to Decide
by FerretScar
Summary: Even though their relationship was kept hidden from Lucius Malfoy and to the rest of the world, Harry Potter has finally decided to ask Draco Malfoy to marry him. But fate wasn't really Harry's best friend because he found out that Draco has to marry some
1. Default Chapter

**Title**: A Decision to Decide (1/?)   
**Author**: Ferret Scar  
**Pairing**: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy  
**Category**: Angst, Drama, Romance, AU  
**Rating**: PG-13   
**Spoilers**: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OoTP  
**Summary**: Even though their relationship was kept hidden from Lucius Malfoy and to the rest of the world, Harry Potter has finally decided to ask Draco Malfoy to marry him. But fate wasn't really Harry's best friend because he found out that Draco has to marry someone in less than a month. But then, Draco formulated a plan that would make his marriage to be a fluke and pleaded Harry to go along with it. And now, Harry needs to decide if he should trust Draco and go with it or call it off.  
**Comments**: I want to thank my beta readers Jess and Puppy for being so patient with me. I owe you both a lot! You are both wonderful and very very good! *huggles both* You guys rawk my socks! And also to my Under the Lemon Tree Club buddies at fandom. Woo-hoo! We rule!   
The chapter title and the lyrics are borrowed from the song 'Release' by The Tea Party which can be found on their Transmission album. This was the CD Harry was listening to.   
 If you want updates for this fiction, send me an email, with the subject "A Decision to Decide Updates" at ferretscar@cox.net or you can check my Live Journal fiction, or my Fiction Website. (See Profile)

**_A Decision to Decide_**

_Chapter One_  
_- Release -_

_"I want the world to wake, I want to give you peace;_   
_I want to vindicate, you need to be released,"_

Sitting in a chair on the balcony at his flat, Harry had just finished his pack of cigarettes since getting home two hours earlier.  It was already eight in the evening and the early August air was a bit breezy.  He reached for his twelfth New Castle beer and chugged the remaining liquid in the half-empty bottle before going inside to get another.

He was about to reach for the refrigerator door's handle when he saw a picture of Draco and himself in front of the Eiffel Tower.  He angrily snatched the photograph and ripped it in two as the magnet that had been holding it in place fell to the floor and shattered. He then furiously opened the refrigerator, grabbed the six-pack that he'd recently bought, and returned to the balcony.

In his mind, the conversation he had with Draco earlier was replaying over and over, which had made him miss both lunch and dinner meals.  He could not believe what the blonde was suggesting. And now, he had to make up his mind if he wanted to accept it, which he knew was absurd. 

Harry couldn't get his thoughts cleared. He'd already decided that he wouldn't pursue his proposal. No matter what Draco told him, he wouldn't.  'Draco needs to straighten things out first.'

"Bugger," he whispered as he shook his head, trying to banish the conversation in his thoughts.  He opened another bottle of beer and drank half of it in one swig.

"I need sounds," he muttered to himself, "sounds to make me sane."

He went inside his flat, carrying his beer, and took out his favorite CD.  'Transmission by Tea Party,' it read on the case.  He popped the disc in the CD player and leveled up the volume so he could hear it from outside.

"Why, Draco? After all these years we've been together, you still can't tell the whole bloody world about us," he whispered as he lit a cigarette when he was back on the balcony again.

Harry tried hard not to think of Draco, or their previous discussion, as he watched a girl who'd just gotten out of a cab. He leaned on the railings of the balcony, holding his beer and cigarette in each hand, and watched the brunette girl with dull interest.  The girl looked lost. She was holding a piece of paper and frantically checking the building number on each apartment.

Suddenly, while Harry was puffing his cigarette, a man came down towards the street from his building, and met the girl. She looked so happy and they hugged for a while. When they broke off, the man delicately touched the girl's cheek and they kissed.

A pang of envy hit Harry as he shifted his eyes to look at the sky above.

_"That I'm a man that's weak, and a man that's lost;_   
_I gave it all away, to complicate the cost,"_

Harry was looking at the sky and suddenly realized that a few tears were already making their way down to his cheeks. He wiped them off using the back of his hand and emptied his beer and sat back down on the chair that he and Draco had gotten when he first moved in five years ago.  The chair looked very old and used but he couldn't throw it away.  It had a sentimental value.  This chair had witnessed the happiness and sorrow of most of their relationship.

This chair just recently witnessed the joy on Draco's face when Harry gave him an iPod™ for his twenty-fourth birthday two months ago, since Draco was so fascinated with muggle technology and music.  It had also witnessed their love making during a five-hour citywide black out ten days ago.

But now, the chair was witnessing Harry's pain and tears.  It could only offer a comfortable cushion for the man.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair, out of frustration. He couldn't believe that this was happening to him. He'd just made a huge decision about his relationship with Draco, but now it seemed so useless to persevere.

He went back inside his flat and took out today's edition of The Daily Prophet from his bag, which was sitting on his sofa.  He flipped though the pages anxiously, wishing that what he read earlier at lunch wasn't true; that the paper was a practical joke from the Weasley twins, or that there was a misprint and it was all-false.

But his eyes didn't deceive him. It was there and it was true. Another pained emotion hit him as he remembered his brief meeting with Hermione, where he had seen the paper for the first time.

          ~~~~

Earlier that day…

"We need to do this quick. You know with the baby coming, I need to eat six times a day, at least."

"Hermione, that's not true," Harry laughed. "Do you want to get fat?"

"Oh honestly, Harry, I was just kidding. But I am hungry," she smiled at him.

"Fine. I already know what to get. I just need to show it to you since you have much better taste than Ron."

"Of course I do."

"And besides," Harry added, "he's not good with these things. I need a woman's opinion."

"Or," Hermione glanced at him, "he's not really good at anything," she smiled.

Both Gryffindors laughed as they stepped inside the store. The owner greeted them cheerfully.  She already knew Harry because he'd been coming to meet her every other day for the past two weeks. 

"Harry! How are you doing today?" she smiled.

"I'm doing great, Caitlin," Harry grinned.

"So, you brought your friend for a second opinion? You really don't trust yourself, do you?" she teased.

Harry laughed. "Caitlin, this is my good friend, Hermione." He put his arm on Hermione's shoulder. "I needed her to see it so I would know I'm not making any mistake about it. Hermione," he said as he looked at his pregnant friend, "this is Caitlin. She owns the store." He dropped his arm from her and Hermione and Caitlin nodded and shook hands. 

"You really have a lovely store here, Caitlin," Hermione said.  "I like the changes you have made. When my husband Dean brought me here to get my ring resized, the salesman who helped us was terrible.  I think his name was Mr. Derzko. He was very impatient and kept on grunting at us."

Caitlin laughed. "That would be my husband. He gets cranky when he has to stay here and run the shop while I'm in some country negotiating with my associates. He doesn't like to be here. He says it makes him look girly."

Both Harry and Hermione chuckled a bit.  "Well, I'm glad that I didn't get to talk to him then," Harry joked. "He probably would have punched me if he were assisting me."

"Oh, darling, you're fine. You are one of the nicest people that I've met and I'm sure that you're just nervous about picking the perfect ring. After all, you're going to give it to the luckiest man alive."

Hermione looked at Harry. She was trying to make eye contact to him. Did she just say the luckiest 'man' alive?

Harry looked at Hermione and nodded, indicating that he'd told Caitlin about Draco.

"Well, I better get them from storage then. I had to put them there since you already gave me the down payment. I'll be right out in a second," she said as she disappeared to get the rings.

"You told her about Draco?" Hermione whispered the moment Caitlin was gone.

"Of course," looking at her, "she's a muggle, after all."

"But, what if she knows him?" she asked worriedly.

Harry laughed lightly, "Honestly, do you think Draco's that famous that even muggles know about him?"

Hermione shrugged, dropping the subject. "When are you planning to propose?"

"Tonight," he grinned. "Listen to this: First, I'm going to get his favorite wine, and then I'm going to cook his favorite meal and bake his favorite cake. Then on top of his cake, instead of putting a whole strawberry in the middle, I'll put the ring. What do you think?" he was waiting for a positive response.

"Hmm, sounds like you're going to spoil him so he'll say yes." Harry nodded vigorously.  "Do you have a heart warming speech prepared?"

"I did, but I scratched that since I know I'm just going to stutter and forget what to say. That's why I decided to cook for him since he doesn't know that I'm taking cooking lessons behind his back."

"It does sound sweet, Harry, if not a little corny. But, you know Draco," she rolled her eyes, "always want the expensive things and loves to be pampered."

Harry laughed, "And after he says yes, which I hope he will, he will be pampered.  Do you want me to tell you how am I going to pamper him?" he wagged his eyebrows at her; Hermione laughed.

"Okay, here you are."

They were interrupted by Caitlin's voice. She was holding two identical black velvet jewelry boxes.  Once she got in front of Harry and Hermione, she opened one box and showed it to Hermione.

"Oh my, Harry. That's gorgeous!" She exclaimed.

It was simple platinum band, with small inlaid emerald stones and dusty black diamonds alternating around the sides.  

"May I?" Hermione asked Harry.

"Of course," Harry grinned.

Hermione gingerly lifted the ring out of the box and examined it carefully. Surprisingly, it was smooth, even though the stones were within the sides of the ring. She slipped it onto her ring finger despite its large size and stretched out her hand, admiring the way the light glinted off the stones.  Meanwhile, Caitlin excused herself to answer the phone that had begun to ring loudly.

"It also looks good on me, Harry. I might ask Dean to buy me one too," she grinned.

"It does, doesn't it?" Harry said, holding her hand to get a good look. "I love it since it has our eye colors, you know.  I just can't wait to see Draco's face when I give it to him. Do you think he'll like it?"

"If he doesn't, I'll kill him," Hermione teased. "Harry, it's so beautiful that I want to marry it."

Harry laughed, still holding Hermione's hand as both of them gazed at the ring on her finger.  Harry wondered what Draco's reaction would be when he saw the ring, or when he asked to marry him. Harry was terrified of it. He was not sure if Draco would say yes. His face faltered a bit and he released his grasp on Hermione's hand.

Hermione looked at him, "What's wrong, Harry?" She removed the ring and placed it inside the box.

Harry looked at the box he was holding. "What if he says no? I mean, we still have a lot of things to deal with, you know. He hasn't told anyone about us, especially his father," he sighed.

Hermione rested her hand on his shoulder. "I'm certain that you and Draco will be okay, Harry.  Come on, we already talked about this, right?" Harry nodded. "There will be a time that you and Draco will be free from all this. I promise you that."

"Thanks Hermione. Thanks for always being there," he hugged her.

"What are friends for, Harry? Ooof," she quickly let go of the embrace, "I just felt the baby kick. I think she sensed that it wasn't Dean who was hugging me."

"She?" Harry arched an eyebrow, "You already got the results back?"

"Well, not yet," she blushed, "I'm assuming it's a girl. I want my first born to be a baby girl."

Harry smiled at her sincerely when Caitlin came back with all the necessary documents for the ring's release.

"I'm sorry Harry, but I have to close early. My son just called and he said they're playing football in less than an hour and he forgot his jersey.  I'm not trying to be pushy here, but do you want to buy the rings now or do you still want me to hold them for you?" she asked.

"Oh, no, I'm proposing tonight. I'm getting them today." 

After all the paper work had been signed and he'd paid for the rings (Hermione raised both of her eyebrows when Harry paid in cash), Harry and Hermione bid their goodbyes to Caitlin and decided to grab a quick lunch. 

They went to a muggle restaurant near the jewelry store.  Harry ushered Hermione inside and they settled in a booth near the window.  Both of them gave their orders to the wait staff.  While they were waiting, Harry doodled with his palm pilot and Hermione brought out her copy of the Daily Prophet from her bag.

"Wow," Hermione exclaimed, "I couldn't believe that after all these years, Professor Snape got the job that he wanted so much."

"He replaced Professor Dumbledore?"

Hermione shook her head, eyes still on the paper, "No, he's the new DADA professor," she looked up to meet Harry's eyes.  Both of them laughed.

The wait staff came with their drinks.  Harry placed a straw in Hermione's orange juice and moved the glass in front of her. He noticed that she was staring intently at the paper with both eyebrows raised.

"What are you reading that's so interesting, Hermione?" he asked after he stored his palm pilot in his bag.

Hermione looked up and he noticed a sad expression on her face. "H- Harry, I think y- you should read th- this," she handed the paper slowly to him.

Harry was about to drink his root beer when he saw, under today's announcement page, a huge picture of the Malfoys. Lucius, with his arrogant poise; Narcissa, with her haughty smile; and Draco, somewhat smiling, it was hard to tell if he was or wasn't.

Harry stared at his boyfriend's moving picture; he smiled as he ran his forefinger over it.  He ogled his face for a moment, noting how photogenic Draco was, and then shifted his eyes to the text underneath it. 

_Mr. and Mrs. Lucius Malfoy would like to announce the wedding of their son, Draco Lucius Malfoy, to the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Ellian Parkinson, Pansy Evita Parkinson._

_They will be wed at the Malfoy Manor garden on Saturday, the 6th of September.  Both families are delighted to announce their union._

Harry reread the text again.  His chest felt tight and he was suddenly having a hard time breathing. He tried to read it slowly, making sure that what he just read was real.  He didn't realize that he was crumpling the edge of the paper, unaware that his fingers were ruining it.  He read and read the article again, until he couldn't see it anymore because his tears blinded him.

"Oh Harry," Hermione sobbed. She reached out to touch Harry's hand.

When Harry snapped back into reality, a tear fell down and landed exactly on Draco's face.  He looked at Hermione and realized that she was holding his clenched hand. She was already crying.

"I've got to go," brushing Hermione's hand away, "I- I have to- go."

"Harry, wait. I'm sure-" she held her hand out to stop him and sobbed.

"I need to breathe. I- I can't breathe," he put the paper inside his bag and sighed, "Can I borrow this?" He didn't wait for an answer, "I'm sorry, I'll talk to you later."

"Harry!" But he didn't look back. When she was about to call him again, he was gone.

~~~~

_"Don't want to hurt you, I need to make you see;   
If I desert you, it's just to make you see,"_

Harry sniffed as he wiped his tears. He placed the Daily Prophet beside him and noticed that one of the black velvet boxes had slipped out of his bag when he removed the paper. 

He slowly reached for it and carefully opened it. The moonlight was reflecting on the ring and it made it look even more beautiful.  He couldn't deny that this was the most perfect ring for him and Draco.

Draco. It made him feel pain again and suddenly, tears were building in his eyes once more.  He snapped the box closed and threw it heatedly at the opposite wall.  The box hit the wall and rolled near to the foot of the sofa as Harry placed both of his hands on his head and cried softly.   It was a moment before he had relaxed his breathing when his cell phone rang. He found his phone, which was in his bag, and answered it.

"Hello?" as he sniffed a little loud.

"Harry, please don't hang up. You've got to hear me out."

"..."

"Harry? Are you there?"

"..."

"Harry?! Please tell me you are okay."

"I am."

"Harry, I-"

"What do you want, Draco?" trying to sound calm.

"I- I was wondering if I could come over."

"..."

"Harry, please, it's also hard for me. I- I just wish I c- can do something about it but," he sighed, "I don't know."

"It's not fair, Draco."

"I'm so sorry, Harry. I told you earlier that I just found out today, please believe me on this. And besides, that's the only plan I can think of. Harry, please, you know that I still lo-"

"No, don't say it."

"But-"

"I said don't say it, all right?" he sighed, "It doesn't help at this moment, does it?"

"But Harry, I need to do this. I need to do this for us."

"Us?" Harry snorted, "For us? Really? Explain to me how this deal 'is' for us? I-" he hesitated, "Never mind, I don't want to hear it."

"Harry, I lo-"

"I said I don't!"  'Click'

_"I'm not going to hurt you now, I need to make you see;_  
_If I desert you now, it's just to make you see,"_

He turned off his cell phone and tossed it on the sofa. He took his beer and tried to drink it, but noticing that the bottle was empty, he went out to the balcony to get another.

He looked down on the streets and saw people were gleefully walking around.  It was already ten in the evening and he knew that those groups of people were going to bars and clubs. After all, it was a Friday night.

He lit another cigarette and sat down on his favorite chair. He lay back, trying to find a comfortable position when his house phone rang.

He didn't bother to pick it up. He knew that it was Draco calling him. He unshielded his ears as the beep of the answering machine came.

"Harry? It's Hermione. I- I was wondering if, um, you are, um. Gods, Harry, I know you're there. Please pick up! Uhm, Draco called me and he's been worried sick about you. He's concerned that you might try to hurt yourself.  He told me that he called you earlier and told you about his plan, but something horrible happened to you and he doesn't know what it was.  Harry, you have got to hear-" 

"Hear what?" he said, as he picked up the receiver.

"Oh, Harry. I hope you won't do anything stupid. I mean…"

"You mean what exactly? Kill myself?" he snorted.

"Yes. I know you're in pain right now and I want you to tell me that you won't do anything stupid. I already told Ron about it and-"

"Hah. I bet he's happy that we're over, huh?"

"No, Harry. He wasn't. He told me that Draco's the best thing that happened to you."

"Well, it's over now, Hermione," he said calmly.

"No, it's not. You haven't talked to him about it yet. You have to discuss his plans with him."

"Why do we have to discuss it? It's so eccentric that I know it will fail.  Draco's not really good at planning you know."

"It doesn't matter, Harry. You have to talk to him. Don't throw everything away. He deserves to be heard.  He told me he's coming over tonight, whether you like it or not."

"I'm not going to let him in, Hermione," he said, sounded defeated.  "I- I can't see him right now. Not even hear his voice. I- I can't deal with him yet."

"Harry, please listen to what he has got to say. You've got to hear him out!"

"Hear him out?" he shouted, "What is it there to hear out, Hermione? Do you have any idea what he told me? About his plan?"

"Please don't shout, Harry.  You're scaring me."

He took a deep breath to calm himself.  He knew he shouldn't be shouting at Hermione like that.  It wasn't her fault that he was upset.  He paused and went back out to the balcony, "I'm sorry, I- I just-"

"Uhm, he t- told me about it, Harry. He told me about his plan."

"Did he," he said dryly and sat on his chair. "What did you say?"

"I think it's a good plan. It might work, I mean. I believe it would work. I- I think you just have to be patient and go along with it."

He laughed bitterly. "Patient? What are you talking about, Hermione? If you were in my shoes, would you have said 'yeah, that sounds promising'? Don't you see how this plan could go wrong in so many ways?"

"Oh Harry. I don't know. But he doesn't want to lose you."

"But he has decided, Hermione. He made a choice to wed Pansy.  He-"

"He's undecided yet, Harry. He's thinking of telling his father about his relationship with you. Ooh, I shouldn't be telling you this. I-"

"He did what?"

"Just talk to him."

"No, I can't talk to Draco right now."

"Why not?"

Harry looked around as he heard an echo.  It was Draco's voice and he was there, leaning against the sliding door of his balcony.  On his left hand was the spare key Harry gave him the moment he moved in. He looked tired and exhausted, just like Harry, only Harry looked like shit.

"Harry? Harry? Are you there?" Harry snapped back into reality when heard Hermione's voice on the phone.

"I- I'll call y- you right back. He's here."

"Harry, just ca-" he hung up.

_"I want you to be free..._   
_I want you to be free from me."_

_~~~~_

**_To be continued..._**


	2. Psychopomp

**Title**: A Decision to Decide (2/?)   
**Author**: Ferret Scar  
**Pairing**: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy  
**Category**: Angst, Drama, Romance, AU  
**Rating**: PG-13   
**Spoilers**: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OoTP  
**Summary**: Even though their relationship was kept hidden from Lucius Malfoy and to the rest of the world, Harry Potter has finally decided to ask Draco Malfoy to marry him. But fate wasn't really Harry's best friend because he found out that Draco has to marry someone in less than a month. But then, Draco formulated a plan that would make his marriage to be a fluke and pleaded Harry to go along with it. And now, Harry needs to decide if he should trust Draco and go with it or call it off.  
**Comments**: I want to thank my beta readers Jess and Puppy for being so patient with me. I owe you both a lot! You are both wonderful and very very good! *huggles both* You guys rawk my socks! And also to my Under the Lemon Tree Club buddies at fandom (and LJ). Woo-hoo! We rule!   
The chapter title and the lyrics are borrowed from the song 'Release' by The Tea Party which can be found on their Transmission album. This was the CD Harry was listening to.   
 If you want updates for this fiction, send me an email, with the subject "A Decision to Decide Updates" at ferretscar@cox.net or you can check my Live Journal fiction, or my Fiction Website. (See Profile)

**_A Decision to Decide_**

_Chapter Two  
- Psychopomp -_

_"You wanted this, so sad to see;   
the sweet decay, of ecstasy,"_

"Harry, I-" 

"Leave." Harry snapped as he brushed away from Draco and went inside.

"Please, Harry. Listen to me!" Draco pleaded, following him into the flat.

"What for?" he said while returning the phone back to its base. "You want to tell me about the wedding?" he mocked.

"That's not funny," Draco scowled. He was standing behind him, facing Harry's back.

"Well, I wasn't trying to be funny, I was being honest." Not turning around.

Draco reached out to grab Harry's arm but Harry shrugged it off. "Don't." 

"Just for a second, please Harry? This is hard for me too!"

Harry walked across the room and sat on down on the sofa against the far wall, putting some space between before turning around, crossing his arms and looking intently at Draco's eyes. "Talk."  __

Draco gulped and ran his hand through his hair as he nervously looked around the room and followed where Harry was.  He was trying to figure out where to begin. Harry realized suddenly how nervous Draco really was. 

"Well, you already know most of it, so here goes," he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.  "I just found about the wedding this afternoon. That picture in the papers was taken on my birthday-" __

"I know," Harry interrupted. "I gave you that suit when we went shopping the week before your birthday," he said coldly.

"I don't want to push it, Harry, but please let me finish first before you say something," he looked at his shoes and didn't notice Harry nodding.

"I was on my way to work," he continued, "when mother flooed into my flat.  She told me she had very bad news and thought it would be best if I heard it directly from her ," he looked at Harry, who still had his arms crossed.  "She then showed me today's Daily Prophet and told me to open it to page fifteen.  After reading what it said, I dropped the paper on the floor. I was so shocked."

Harry continued to listen to Draco as he leaned back into the sofa and rested his head on the cushion. He was very tired and had been drinking quite a bit. He longed to just cuddle up with Draco and discuss the whole thing in the morning, but his pride wouldn't let him.

"She hugged me and told me that she was sorry.  She told me that father was looking for that photograph a week ago. When she asked him why he needed it, father said he was going to give it to the family artist so he could make a painting out of it.  Father lied to her, Harry, and when she confronted father about the wedding, he said it was too late for me to change my mind. He also assumed that I would just nod my head and go along with it," he paused, holding back his anger.  He didn't want Harry to see him upset. He already knew that Harry was angry at him and if he joined him, he knew nothing would get done. 

"She asked me then if you read the Daily Prophet," his voice was cracking.  He took a deep breath and put his hands behind his back.

"What did you say?" Harry asked tonelessly.

Draco shivered from the coldness in his voice, but at least he was listening. "I told her that you might. I wasn't sure. I told her since you've cut yourself off from the wizarding world, you probably wouldn't read it."

"But you forgot that I still have friends in the wizarding world, Draco."

"Harry, please," he held out his hand, palm facing Harry, "I need to explain. Please, just listen," he pleaded at him and Harry saw that there were tears starting to form in his eyes.

Harry looked away and focused on the view outside. He would not cry, he promised himself. He was done crying.  His chest rose from the deep breath that he took and nodded.

"Then she asked me what I would do but I couldn't answer her since I have no idea. I was lost for words. She gave me another hug and told me that she'll help me, no matter what my decision is," he stopped and shoved both of his hands into his trouser pockets.  "So, I called work and told them that I wouldn't be coming. Funny that they let me go that easily, really, but when I was about to end the conversation, my co-worker told me to never forget them when I make my guest list, and with that," he paused. "I got scared because you might hear it from someone else, which was the case here."

_"and you want it all…"_

Harry was about to say something but he held his tongue. He didn't want to be rude, so he clutched his arms tightly around him and waited for Draco to continue.

"When I gathered my thoughts all together, I called you. And, well, you already know what happened," he rubbed the back of his neck while he looked at Harry. 

Harry's thoughts drifted to their earlier phone conversation.

~~~~

Harry had just stepped out of the restaurant where he'd left Hermione calling for him.  He was enraged. He was in pain.  He didn't know where to go and just let his feet to take him wherever they thought was best for him.

He was crossing a busy intersection when his cell phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hi Harry, its Draco."

"I can't talk to you right now, Draco. I'm… I'm-"

"You've heard?"

"Heard what?" He saw a coffee shop when he got across from the street and went inside.  He thanked the gods because the coffee shop was empty. He nodded to the cashier and to the waitress, then went to the farthest stall and sat down.

"I… I don't know if you read The Daily Prophet, Harry, but there's something there that has to do with me… with us."

"Hang on," he placed his phone on his shoulder.  He already saw the waitress lazily walking towards him.  When she stopped in front of him, she smiled.

"I'll have a cafe Mocha with two extra shots of espresso," he said plainly.  The waitress nodded and left. He placed the phone back to his ear, "I did read today's Prophet. It was interesting to read the papers again and I thought might have changed from always having bad news. Apparently, it didn't."

"Harry, I had no idea about it. Wait, where are you? I'll come-"

"Don't Draco. Just don't. I… I can't see you yet."

"But-"

"Look, I just need to clear my mind. I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk to you."

"Harry, I already thought of a solution."

_"A frozen sun, will guide you there;   
as shadows hide, the deep despair,"_

Harry's anger faded a bit. He knew he was over reacting and should hear what Draco had to say. Hoping against hope, he wished that Draco would tell the world that he's seeing Harry Potter. No, he wished he could tell it first to his father, then to the world.

"What's the solution?" he said as the waitress placed his coffee in front of him and smiled. Harry just looked up at her and gave her a weak smile.

"Okay, don't interrupt me for a second because I just accumulated this thought." When Harry didn't answer, he continued, "I know Pansy is seeing Justin, you know, that Hufflepuff bloke? I know that they're serious with each other. I also know that Pansy has no idea about this sudden announcement of our wedding.  So I called her and-"

"You called Pansy?" he said with a slightly raised voice that made the waitress arch her eyebrow.  The cashier and the waitress were gossiping with each other, wondering what Harry's name was and if he had a girlfriend.

"Uhm, yes I did. Harry, please, hear me out first?" he pleaded

"Fine," he took a sip of his coffee.

"So, uhm, yeah I talked to her about it. She didn't know, of course, since she doesn't read the Prophet.  She's not really into current events and not really that type of a person who cares." He heard Harry sighed. "I'm sorry, Harry. You know I babble when I'm nervous." 

Harry twitched his lips, imagining Draco frantically running his hands through his hair and how he hated that gesture. He would be infuriated by how he could mess up his hair since he had just spent an hour making it look perfect.  He placed his left elbow on the table, rested his head on his hand and sighed.  Draco was just simply amazing, Harry thought.

"Then," he heard Draco said, "she told me that she just got an owl from her parents yesterday, asking if she could come with them to the Manor on Sunday. She was about to call me but I got to her first."

"Well, good thing that you called her then, huh?"

"Anyway," Draco said a little louder, interrupting Harry, "I told her about the wedding our parents planned.  I mean, my father and her parents planned.  She was shocked, of course. We all are.  I even told her that this isn't fair because I have the right to choose whom I shall marry and told her that I'm with someone too. She agreed with me and said the same thing. We're both in the same situation, Harry.  Her parents don't know about Justin since he's a mud-, er, a muggle-born, so I reckon if they would understand her. We talked to each other and had finally came to an agreement.  She said she's going to talk to Justin about it."

"Uh huh."

Draco took a deep breath and Harry heard him exhaled.  "I told her that, for the sake of my family, or father, and hers as well, we will wed," he heard Harry grunt. "Wait, don't hang up! Let me finish."

"I'm listening." Harry said hoarsely.

"But, we won't be living together. We're going to convince our parents that we want to relocate and live far from them. We also agreed that we should get a fake minister for our wedding so our wedding would be a fluke. I know I can ask mother to get us a fake minister, since father's making her organize it. Since mother offered to help, this would be the one way she could."

"But what if she doesn't? What if she-"

"She will, Harry. She knows about us, remember? And she knows that I love you more than I love myself."

_"and you want it all;   
"I'll give you something more…"_

Harry's eyes began to accumulate tears. "But what if your father visits you? What if her parents visit her? This plan is dodgy, Draco."

"My father never visits me, Harry, and that goes for her parents as well."

"I don't know, Draco.  It does sound like a good plan but I reckon it will work."

"Harry, this is the best plan I've got so far," he sighed. "You know, if you think you have a better idea, by all means, share it with me. I'm willing to listen," Draco was exasperated.

"Best idea, for me that is," he said firmly, "is that you to tell your father about us so there won't be a wedding, or a 'fake' wedding, as you have said. So there wouldn't be any lies to your family and to Pansy's.  I also suggest that she should be honest to her parents about Justin."

"Harry, do you know what you are asking me to do?"

"I'm asking you to be free from your father, Draco. Is that hard? Oh, wait, yes, it is hard for you."

"What's that suppose to mean?" he barked. "You and your Gryffindor morals again.  You know my father very well, Harry. Do you really think he would understand about us? Gods! You know how bigoted he is.  We've been fighting about my father ever since we got together. Can you just please give it a rest for a moment and deal with him later?"

Harry became irritated with Draco.  He hated it when he throws comments like that at him.  "I will give it a rest, Draco," emphasizing his name, "if you tell your father about us. Or even the bloody world about us. I feel like you don't love me that much that-"

"That's bullshit, Harry. You know that I love you so much that it hurts. I can't stand being without you."

"Oh really?" he mocked. "And why, may I ask, did you say no to me when I asked you if we should move in together? Don't you remember that you said no because your 'father' might know about us?" he huffed. His chest was tightening from outrage.  "If you wanted to prove to me that you really love me, Draco, you wouldn't think about what your father would say!"

"It's hard for you to understand because you didn't grow up with a father!" Draco shouted.

_"and you'll fade away;   
one last kiss before, you fade away,"_

Harry was stunned, so stunned that his mind stopped working and he just froze, like he was hexed with a body-bind spell.  Draco had struck a sensitive spot.  He was in blind fury.  Harry, now, could feel an ache inside his chest, and before he knew it he'd slammed his fist hard on the table, to release the tension his body was building.  He didn't see the coffee mug (almost empty) sitting on the table, and had smashed it into pieces.

The waitress and the cashier quickly looked at the commotion.  Both of them gasped when they saw that Harry just smashed their mug with his hand.

Harry, still holding his cell phone with his right hand, raised his other hand and saw some small ceramic chips painfully stuck on the side of his hand.

"Shit!" he whispered as he grabbed the napkin sitting next to the broken mug.  His hand was bleeding painfully. Neither the waitress nor the cashier dared to help him and they continued to stare at the strange man who and thought they should ask for his name before he leaves.  The blood from Harry's hand was flowing very fast towards his wrist, across his arm then to his elbow and dripping lazily on the table.

"Harry! What was that? Where are you? Oh gods, Harry, are you hurt?" Draco screamed on the phone. His voice was frantic and scared.

"Don't call until I say so, Draco," he said flatly and hung up.

He turned off his cell phone and took out his wand.  He cleaned the mess that he'd made and healed his hand.  When he looked around, he saw the waitress and the cashier were looking at him, jaws dropped.  He muttered a memory charm on them, placed five pounds on the table and left.

~~~~

_"So sleep tonight, in idle dreams;   
the pain will drown, your silent screams,"_

Harry's thoughts drifted back to the present as he rubbed his fingers on his left hand, still looking outside. He wished he hadn't healed his hand earlier so he would be experiencing physical pain rather than emotional right now.

"Then, I had a deep thought of what you said, Harry.  About… about father," Draco looked at him, "and I've decided to talk to him on Sunday, before the Parkinsons arrive. I'm still formulating what to tell him, but I'll be fine. I've already come up with the starting line."  Harry looked at him. "But if he kills me after I tell him everything, well," he chuckled, "at least, I died happy because I got to be with you."

Harry cringed at him. "What are you going to tell him then? 'Hey Father, sorry for keeping this from you for seven years but I like boys. And you know what else? The boy that I like is Harry Potter. Yeah, that's right. For seven years, I've been seeing Harry.  Oh, and it's not Potter anymore, father dearest, it's Harry. Make note of that!'"

Draco rolled his eyes, "Why are you making fun of me, Harry?" Draco's face was turning pink from anger and embarrassment. "Don't you think I can do it? That's it, isn't it?" He looked at him with hurt in his eyes. "You don't think I have the guts to do it, right?"

Harry kept quiet. He didn't know why he'd blabbed that sarcastic comment to Draco. In every argument they had, it was always Draco who kept quiet and didn't state why he spoke harsh words, but now, it was Harry's turn to be left without a come back. When he saw the hurt look that Draco gave him, he felt his inside squirmed. He hated hurting Draco with his ruthless words.  Unable to hide the humiliation from his eyes, Harry looked down, and was conscious of the look that Draco was still giving. 

_"And you want it all,"_

"After all these years we've been through," Draco said shaking, "you still think that I can't decide for myself. You still think that I'm a coward for keeping our relationship a secret, you still think-"

"That's not it. I'm sorry. I was wrong," Harry interrupted him. He ran his hand through his hair, "I didn't mean that… gods, Draco. What if your father doesn't listen to you?"

"I have to face it, Harry," he sighed and walked towards him. Harry stood up and looked at Draco. Their faces were inches apart. "I have to, for our sake," he touched his face. Harry's eyes closed slowly as he felt the warmness of Draco's hand. "And because I love you, Harry Potter. I insanely love you."

Harry opened his eyes and touched Draco's face. He closed the distance between them as he placed his lips lightly on Draco's. His lips quivered as tears ran down to his cheeks, holding back his sobs.  Draco's lips trembled as he kissed Harry, tasting Harry's tears.  He hadn't realized that he was crying as well.

_"I'll give you something more, and you'll fade away;   
one last kiss before, you fade away,"_

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and deepened the kiss. He loved Draco more than anything else in his world.  He also missed Draco's kisses, even though it was only last night that they last had shared one. He missed it so much that it felt like it was eating him alive from the inside.

He kissed him passionately as a way of saying sorry.  Sorry for being stupid; sorry for not listening to him, for shutting him out without giving him a chance to explain, for being a jerk and throwing smart remarks at him, for being a prick to question Draco's feelings. All he wanted to do was to kiss him until all the tears had been shed, all the pain had ceased, and all of the hurt words were washed away from their memory.

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's waist as they kissed.  He already tasted his own tears as they continuously flow from his eyes.  He felt relieved that Harry still wanted him.  He thought he would collapse from happiness as he cupped his arms on Harry's back; pressed his back towards him so that their chests were squeezed against each other. 

It felt so good to kiss Harry again, after today's eccentric events.  He loved Harry; he loved everything about him.  He knew that he loved Harry more than Harry loved him but he didn't care.  He loved him for understanding him despite his background, for helping him realize what the world was about, for being there where no one else was, for being a childish prick and for being way too sarcastic. 

But now, he had changed. He'd changed his ways when he realized that Harry loved him for who he was and not caring what the world told Harry about him; not cared when his friends didn't understand him as to why he loved, of all people, Draco Malfoy; not cared when Draco said he wouldn't change for him.  But then, Draco knew, that from the moment Harry said he didn't care about the others as long as he was always with him, accepted him and loved him in return. He, then knew, that he had deeply fallen in love with Harry Potter.

_"Lives you once adored, you fade away;   
lies you can't ignore, you soon repay,"_

They slowly broke away from each other to catch their breath. Both were panting and grinning at each other.

"Harry, I'm-" Draco started to speak.

"Shh, it's okay." Harry stroked Draco's cheek, wiping the tears away from his pale face. "I understand. Come on," he took both of his hand and looked at Draco, "let's talk more about this tomorrow," he kissed his forehead. "Let's just rest, okay?"

Draco swallowed and nodded.  He gripped Harry's hand a little harder.

Harry quickly kissed Draco's quivering lips and when he broke off, he licked it. "Come on, I missed you so much," he smelled Draco's hair.

"Hmm," Draco arched an eyebrow, looking at Harry, "sounds like Mr. Potter wants something tonight, doesn't he?" he said softly.  He removed his grip from Harry's and slowly ran his hand over Harry's chest.

"If Mr. Malfoy's not tired at all, Mr. Potter would like to offer some services to him, and," he paused and gave Draco a teasing look, "vice versa."

Draco laughed softly as he ran a finger over Harry's collarbone.

"Not here, love," he held Draco's hands "Let's go to our favorite spot."

"The chair on the balcony?" Draco teased. "My, my, Mr. Potter, quite daring today, aren't we?"

"Hmm, not so much, but if you go to the room now, I'll get the chair," he wagged his eyebrows with his eyes half-closed.

Draco smiled and slowly walked towards the door of Harry's bedroom. When he got there, he watched as Harry carried the chair from the balcony and placed it down when he got inside so he could close the door, then lifted it again and carried it over towards the bedroom.

"I'll hold the door for you, love."

"Thank you," and Harry smiled and slipped inside the bedroom.

As Draco was going to close the door, he saw something sitting near the foot of Harry's sofa. He wondered for a moment what it was. He squinted his eyes and bent down slightly, noticing it was something like a black square box.  It looked smooth, like velvet or something like that.  When he was about to take a closer look, Harry called out for him.

"Coming," Draco said as he closed the door slowly, not taking his eyes from the black box, until the door shut.

_"You fade away."_

_~~~~_

**To be continued...******


End file.
